Fight for your right

Have you ever worked in a group?

Sure you have!

We are taught to work in groups and get along with others from an early age.

I am naturally an introvert so working in a group can be awkward for me.  I’m also an oldest child so leadership is apart of my natural instincts. So it becomes a weird combination for me.

When I was in high school there was always that “King/Queen Bee” in every  group. I always found those people annoying and down right agitating.

Because I am the oldest I always tried not to be that person. I just went with the flow because I know most of them were trying to overcompensate for something.

They wanted all the attention in the world and seemed like they believed they were the only ones who existed in their fairytale world. So as an adult just imagine what I think about them?!

This is not directed towards anyone personally but it is to say that as adults we have to be aware of the negative traits we may or may not have but also when you are feeling that you are not being heard you have to exert yourself and allow others to hear the great opinions and ideas you have.  Don’t hold back.

I realize as I have gotten older that you have to sometimes fight and stand your ground to be heard in many situations. You see I work in a field which is male dominated. I often have to stand up for myself just because my ideas are often scoffed because I am of the female gender.

CAN YOU HEAR ME! (I used to find it funny when people would say all caps was yelling)

I am telling you that if you don’t speak up in life you will regret the things you did not say or do. Don’t live with regrets. You have to say what you want to say when you have the opportunity.

I mean with your spouse, friends, and work life. Those relationships should be fostered with honesty and communication.

I read somewhere that the graveyard is the most valuable place because of all the great ideas, books, and things that were never written or shared.

Please don’t be that person who lives his or her life full of regret. BE AWESOME. BE BOLD.  Interrupt the conversation and interject your thoughts and ideas.

No need to be harsh with any of it but let people know you want to be heard.

 

Fight the good fight

 

Attention Seekers

Everyday people are trying to get your attention as well as those seeking attention.  Let us start with those who are trying to get your attention.

Is it me or does it seem like there is always a business or entity trying to sell something to you via social media now?

I used to love social media for its sheer genius of connecting us to people we normally would not connect to. Now I go on Instagram and get overwhelmed by someone trying to sell me a t-shirt or bundles of hair.  Now, it’s primarily a way to promote, push and pedal products.

America in general is a commerce based society, so it is no surprise that social media is starting to get overwhelmed with marketing and sales.

I myself have utilized social media for sales and I am guilty of this as well.  I understand the need to market to people across all mediums therefore I’m not trying to knock the hustle, but I will say there is a right/wrong way to market.

Who is your target market and audience?

I see small boutiques and businesses who market via social media but also utilize their accounts for personal use. NO! don’t do that! STOP IT!

Like why do I have to  know what you are having for dinner when you are trying to sell a t-shirt? I don’t need to know what concert you are going to! hey this is my preference.

There should be a personal account you utilize for your personal business as well as one strictly for business.

That’s my rant on that subject so let me get over to the people who are seeking attention. I was online and this very successful entrepreneur posted something that I found odd and all I could think is…. don’t you have friends to talk to because that should not be on your business account.

Hey, I get it. I’m venting to you right now via a blog … however… nothing I say will  give you a glimpse into my personal life because honestly know you do not want to hear that.

So here is my thing, as an entrepreneur someone or something is always  going to try to seek your attention. You have to be focused and careful how you are utilizing your time and to whom you give your time.

There will always be someone or something trying to pull you away from your dreams but in order to be successful you have to be careful with how your time is disbursed. Do not let what I call “vampires” drain your time and derail you off track. These people claim to want to assist or help you but I promise you they are a waste of time. You learn to identify these people early or at least I have.

Also, I recommend getting around people who are like minded who know the struggle.  There are so many obligations being your own boss.  Everyone is not going to understand why you are doing this venture on your own. Some people don’t understand those who want to work for themselves. Be careful about being around those people for too long, they will try to kill your dreams and good vibes.

When I was younger we had a bank in my small city whose ATM/AKA Tyme Machine slogan was “Tyme is money.”  So we know that time is important so choose who and what will benefit you in being successful as opposed to the white noise that is used as distractions.

-Gurl Nerd.

 

 

Open Doors /.\

It is the eve of Women’s Equality day 2015 and all I can think is I can open my own damn doors!

This vent is from a day when a man I like to refer to as McCreepy tried to open a door for me.

NO THANK YOU.

I am by no means anti-men opening the door for me but I am 100 percent anti-McCreepy.

Let me say that in the IT field I have people asking me questions all day everyday when they have access to  Google to look up the answer.

So open your own doors.

I am talking from a business perspective. I see people waiting around for people to tell them the answer to things or help them start their business.  I consider myself to be a very resourceful person and when I can not figure something out I try to find out the answer.

I think about how “information”  and “access” used to separate the elite from the poor but that barrier no longer exists, so what are you waiting for! OPEN YOUR OWN DOOR.

I am saying this to the idealist, entrepreneur, woman, man, and child who allows fear, complacency, and low-esteem get in the way.

Are you waiting for someone to open a door for you?

Well let me tell you that open doors from others often times come with strings attached.

So what are you truly waiting for?

For someone to save you? to rescue you? to step in and tell you what to do? Not going to happen.

Some things you have to do on your own.

So open your own damn doors and stop waiting around for another person to assist you in your process. It is your process to get you to where you are supposed to be in life. I do not believe in sugar coating anything. You have the right to be awesome and rock it!

You are equal and there is no one greater than you!

HAPPY WOMAN’s EQUALITY DAY

 

 

I am not her.

So let me tell you a little bit about my experience. For the past two years I have been working with various companies on their technology and internal customer service. I can not go into a lot of detail but I can tell you, I like what I am doing. I have many skill sets when it comes to technology but problem solving is my greatest asset. I believe there is a solution to every problem.

I started my company in 2009 during the worst economic crisis. I stumbled upon entrepreneurship after a rough period at local nonprofit (I will write about my experience here one day as well).

As a woman of color working for yourself has its challenges, as well as working within corporate America.  When I think of all the challenges I have faced over the course of the past 20  years they include a few of  the “-isms”, “ageism”, “sexism”, “classism”, and “racism.”

Since I am a programmer by trade I have to process when things happen because I can not believe they are happening at the time.

Let me give you an example.

I was at a work site when I was asked “When are you going to wear a dress again?”

HUH? What the…? Did that really just happen? Am I processing that correctly?  Like are you serious? It was out of the blue and pretty much left me confused because it automatically made me feel violated.

So someone told me “Well maybe that is a casualty of your profession.” I believe she meant since I work in IT a white male dominated field I should automatically realize that these things are going to happen and I should accept it.

Hmmm. Not so much. I made it clear with this individual that his question was rude and 100% inappropriate.

I believe stuff like this should be nipped in the bud pronto. There is this stereotype about black women in general that we are over sexualized. I got the vibe from this individual  he wanted to live out some crazy fantasy he had about black women.  Who really knows his motives but asking a woman of any color that question is inappropriate and sexist.

I am not her!

As I have gotten older I have learned to stand up for myself which makes me very proud. I used to be the type to cower away from any form of confrontation, especially like this.  In the past I would have allowed the “-isms” stop me from moving forward and progressing in life but I have not.

I am not her!

I know who I am and what my goals in life are. I will not apologize for who I am nor where I come from.  I have programmed since I was 16! that is 20 years of my life.  My love for technology and working within the field will not be deterred by others ignorance and predatory  advances.

I know that I personally feel isolated at times because of the way the industry is set up but I know I am not alone. There are other woman of color who overcome the obstacles that come their way.

I have created this blog to give a voice to all of those women who I know exist.  The one who will speak on your behalf and let it be known that we will not tolerate the “isms.”

 

–Nerd I am.